Do you ever wake up in the mornings thinking,
– “Here we go again” or “Another day”?
The older I get the tired I get with certain things. I realised being a child was easier, no responsibilities nor any worries. As soon as you walk into adulthood you realise how hard it is to actually cope with everything.
I remember when I was about 8 and I was thinking to myself how much I hated growing up, I didn’t want it. The older I got I noticed my friends wanted to grow and turn 18 as soon as possible so that they could move out and do their own thing. I was the complete opposite, I wanted to stay at my parents place as long as possible.
Of course I would occasionally feel frustrated with my parents and I too wanted to do my own thing (teenage years were the worst due to the hormones), but that happens with everyone. Being a teenager is part of growing up and it is normal to go through those emotions in life.
Being the kid that didn’t want to move out at anytime made me became the complete opposite when I turned 18. I wanted to grow outside of my comfort zone and decided to move out sooner than I expected. At the time, I was together with this boy and he ended up breaking my heart one too many times. After that experience, I wanted to change, I wanted to do something for me for once and no one else. So I decided to move to another country by myself, all the way to California. Why? Because I felt like that was my calling, my purpose in life.
When I moved I learned a lot, and when I mean a lot, I mean A LOT. America was completely to Sweden, the fact that I had to pay to wash my clothes was a big shock to me. The washing machine was in the same apartment complex, but I still had to pay to use it! In my eyes that was absurd! That is when I started to realise how good we had it in Sweden.
I had to start living independently in a foreign country. It was a big challenge for me because I was alone and I had no friends at the time but at the same time I felt like it was my purpose to do this, my mission, my path to take.
I wanted to grow as a person and to experience things by myself. I realised that life is full of surprises and that whatever you plan for, it is not set in stone.
My plan was to stay in the states for 10 years, or even forever after my graduation, but I met a man that changed everything I had planned for. I realised I had another purpose in life after I met him, that was to spend my life with him and to stay by his side.
He came unexpectedly into my life and that made me change everything. It was a risk but I thought if I don’t do this then I will regret this for the rest of my life. I did not want to live with that regret. I was happy before I met him but when I met him I felt like I was on cloud nine all the time, he made my life better just by his presence. If only he knew how much.
Life is full of surprises and you cannot control the obstacles in life, you have to face them and decide what to do with them. Nothing goes smooth in life, nothing will be served on a silver plater.
Your purpose in life will always change, shape, grow and make you fall. It will always be like that, on shuffle. One day you might even be stuck in a limbo and that is when you have to make the decision to change for the better, like you waking up thinking “Another day, here we go again.”
Perhaps you’re not living life the way you want to? Only you know the answer. Don’t punish yourself with these feelings, try to find that purpose and change.
It will be for the better, especially mentally.
– Siara
